A former client has been asking me these interesting questions about who to believe more, whether the dating advice focusing on the spiritual world or the one focusing on the "we are physical beings" approach.

It's no secret that I was I complete loser when it came to relationships and I had to educate myself on what men actually wanted from a partner and how to attract the kind of man that I wanted.

To me it was not one or the other. I had to use both. 

Being a woman I would have loved to stay just with the spiritual approach, manifest my partner and voila, they lived happily ever after.

The real world doesn't work like that.

It was helpful to work on my inner blocks. It was imperative that I let go of stuff from my past that was keeping me from giving a chance to men who didn't look exactly like Brad Pitt.

However, I also had to learn to dress and most importantly, BEHAVE, in a way that was attractive to men looking for a wife (not just looking for a girlfriend, but who were in the market shopping for a wife).

Which brings us back to my former client.

For the spiritual approach I love Kathryn Alice. I do like a lot her work on soul mates and she has been a pillar to finally meet and marry my husband.

Like I said above, I also needed the physical approach and in my opinion there is nothing like the classic Getting To I Do by Pat Allen. In this book it's discussed how women with more masculine energy (a.k.a. the ultra competitive high achiever) need to decide whether they want a man with more masculine energy (therefore the woman must tone herself down) or a man with more feminine energy (where the woman is the one with the pants in the house). Both approaches are valid and valuable depending on what do you want as a woman.

Kathryn Alice says that if a man is your soul mate, it doesn't matter if you "screw it up" at one particular point because as a soul mate, the relationship can't be destroyed. Pat Allen says that if you screw it up, that's it, you just lost it.

Are these opposite points of view?

In my opinion, not really.

If someone is not meant to be, it doesn't matter how perfect you behave, it will not be long lasting. You can be in the right place at the right time but if it's not meant to happen, it won't happen.

So just figure out who you are, what you want and behave in a way that will attract your desired kind of man.

Don't sweat out too much on being 100% perfect. Do focus on improving yourself all you can, not just to get a guy, but for yourself, to feel good about yourself.