This article is intented for women. However, men can use the same strategy.

Let's start redefning the phrase "successful first date". What is it to be successful? To kiss at the end of the date? To get a proposal? To feel fireworks?

In my book, "successful first date" means knowing for sure if this person in front of you deserves a second date or not, if you keep on investing time in this person or you move on to the next.

Whether you met this person online, at an event or though someone else, the fact remains that you two are virtually strangers.

Your goal for the first date then is only one: to gather information.

This is particularly difficult for us women as we get dreamy -especially if the guy in front of us is handsome- and tend to get lost in fantasies or worse, we start talking too much.

Ideally, you would have talked to this person over the phone and gathered enough information as to whether he's worth meeting. If you didn't, this is your chance.

Get pretty, relax and go to the date with a detective's mind.

Let him talk. I'll repeat: let him talk. Men will tell you exactly who they are (keeper/player), what do they want (a relationship/just fun) and what they stand for if you listen to what they say.

I've had way too many clients recall, long after their hearts have been broken, that the guy in question was honest to a tee on their first date: he wanted a casual relationship and he was not ready to commit. Yet these otherwise very smart women thought it would be different this time, that he would commit.

When a man tells you he's not ready, he's not ready and he won't be just because you are around. It's an inner process for them independent of your presence.

So when you are in front of him, shut up and listen. Make questions (don't bring your list, be casual, it's an interview, no an interrogatory). Think you're interviewieng him for a job. Answer what he asks but be short in your answers. You don't want him to tell you what you want to hear, you want to know who he is.

After that date you will have enough data to know if you want to see him again or not (in case he calls). In either case, your decision will be based on actual information and not just "chemisry" or sex.

Keep your head cold. This is not a game for the faint of heart. You will have time to fall in love with him if he's what you are really looking for. Don't let a pretty face cloud that.